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You Know You're From Michigan If...
- You've never met any celebrities.
- Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
- "Vacation" means going to CedarPoint.
- You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
- You measure distance in minutes.
- You know several people who have hit a deer.
- Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
- Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
- You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
- You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
- You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
- You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
- You've been dissowned by a family member whenever U of M plays MSU.
- You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
- You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
- You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition.
Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to town I wanna go with."
- All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
- You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
- You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, Vernor's, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
- You carry jumper cables in your car.
- You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.
- You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper,and ketchup.
- You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
- You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
- The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
- You think that deer season is a national holiday.
- You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
- You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Hotter than Hot, and Construction.
- There is a McDonalds in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
- Half the change in your pocket is Canadian.
- You drive 86 mph on the highway and pass on the right.
- You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre.
- You know how to pronounce "Mackinac".
- You bake with SODA and drink a POP.
- The movie "Escanaba in Da Moonlight" wasn't funny. You consider it a documentary.
- The word "thumb" has geographical, rather than anatomical significance.
- You show people where you grew up by pointing to a spot on your left hand.
- Traveling coast-to-coast means driving from Port Huron to Muskegon.
- When giving directions, you refer to "A Michigan Left".
- You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but isn't that far from Hell.
- Home Depot on any Saturday is busier than toy stores at Christmas.
- You know when it has rained because of the smell of worms.
- Owning a Japanese car was a hangin' offense in your hometown.
- You actually get these jokes and pass them on to all your friends from Michigan.
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